♥ Sunday, June 1, 2008 ♥

before this place starts growing cobwebs i guess i better write something here.

However, i somehow dun really have much time to upload photos to describe what have happened recently. There is something i can say, i had fun but have been super busy with school. Mid terms are approaching and thats not really a good sign for me. Cant seem to get much of my work in. Trying my best. Focusing more on my studies. There is somehow something that kept distracting me. Dun plan to say much but i guess it arent anything good. Things that have been making me feel horrible within like stupid headaches and pains please just go away.

Today followed boyfriend to watch some change concert at the botanic gardens. Tian shui was performing so we were there to give him our support. But somehow instead of watching the show was largely distracted by the light sticks that were all around. Beautiful i must say. As i watch i started thinking. I realised how lost i am. The whole concert were planned by people from hwa chong and i must say they did a good job. I feel so lousy in some ways. They have their ambition and they have their plans in life. With good results and their other good in other factors. Somehow i am jealous like i am no where near them. HAI. hope that somehow my results now can do in a way better than what i did before.

I also realised something within me. That i have lost a big part of myself. I used to remember me being daring and adventurous when i was young but now i seem so freaking afraid of stuff. Is it me or something ? I dunno what has happened. I feel so not me. I feel that i am closing up even more. I used to love roller coasters and just simply climbing around. But now whenever i do it, there is a certain fear in me. I wonder have my past affected me somehow or my condition. I hate myself being the way i am now. I just want to be the once hyper me. Therefore a decision in me have been made. No matter what might happen next, whether is it good or bad, i will just take the challenge. I guess i dun wish to care whats more. Is something might just stop in a way to make me think, i guess not. I have nothing for a time being so it is fine to take the risk. I dun believe that anything might just simply happen like that.Everything has its danger. Maybe it might just happen but actually when it is suppose to it will.

seriously i am tired so whats more than saying who cares already.
HERE I COME FOR THE FUN AND THRILL.
Nothing will stop me for now.
the decision took awhile to come around but it is made.